Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A sure way to be disappointed is to trust easily without verifying.

   "Is Kim Jong IL ? "No He's DEAD !!!

   Ding Dong Kim Jong is Dead

   Imagine how much lag they had 2000 years ago: it took Jesus 3 days to respawn.

   might apply for Kim Jong-il's job... I've always fancied a KOREA in politics !!!

   first it was Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, now Kim Jong Il. all of my bedroom wall poster idols are dead

   Not feeling the Christmas spirit? Go elf yourself!

   first Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, now Kim Jong Il. all of my bedroom wall poster idols are dead

   Its never too early to start drinking on Christmas day :)

   Whenever I get a Christmas present that I don't want, I hold onto it and give it to someone else as their birthday gift.

   Googled "What women want" and a photo of me was shown.

   just opened an envelope with one of those 'glittery' Christmas cards inside, it looks like a unicorn just jizzed in my lap

   Japanese has so many characters, their alphabet soup comes in two separate cans.

   Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and the Teddy Grahams Bear perish in house fire. S'more at eleven.

   I really don't see why Conrad Murray is going to prison for what he did. House pulls crap like that all the time

   I like how none of the "robbers" on that Vonage commercial are black. Way to dodge that bullet, Vonage.

   It's not technically a hip hop show unless at some point, 9 seemingly random guys are invited on stage to waves their hands for no reason.

   We sympathize with, but must reject any articles on how to quickly turn a candy cane into a shiv at stressful family gatherings.

   People who make noises with their chewing gum should be put to death. I just decided.

   Kim Jong II is dead & things aren't looking so hot for his official lookalikes either.