Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   yes winter is here .....let the relationships begin!!!

   someone call social services,,,Man city abused man utd

   Noticed a mistake? Why couldn't you notice it FIRST before posting? Why were you in a hurry to microwave your dinner-for-one as you always do?

   THE 2 drivers in Beijing that ran the lady over that nobody helped have been caught <<< just 2 prove 2 Wongs don't make A right..!!

   While someone is speaking to me, 80% of my inner dialogue is just wondering if my face looks interested

   I'vs always wanted to slap someone that was panicking

   just spent the rest of my Halloween money on Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale.....I hope the trick-or-treaters are happy with some cough drops and a few beef bouillon cubes this year.

   Just once I would like to hear a rapper say that he is pretty average with the rhymes.

   Most Sundays on Fb.. Hop on see all the Praise the Lord post.. Like a few baby pics.. Have a quick convo wit some friends.Then off to bed..

   Tebow is white, plays against Miami, loved by fans, and only plays well in the 4th quarter - he's the anti-LeBron

   Had many interesting conversations today, but don't remember any of them... Come to think of it, I wasn't even listening.

   I pretended to work all day while dreaming about big boobs

   Wow...there apparently is a front And back to male thongs.

   Do they have unbearded ladies at an Italian carnival?

   OMG!!! I am so f'd up...I drank so much last night..i woke up in my own vomit! Party!....woohoo!..I just chugged more vodka to cure the hangover!.....(this didn't happen, just wanted to fit in in Facebook).

   If you're wondering at what point I stopped caring, it was pretty much when you said, "Hi, my name is _________."

   she serious with that outfit? Why doesn't she just paste a "For Sale" sign across her chest?

   If all he wants you for is ur Breast,Legs and thighs send him to KFC. Ur a lady,not someones cheap value meal

   You know your ass is ugly when you're the one always asked to take the photo

   Insecurity is an ugly thing, it makes you hate people that you don't even know...