Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   No, no, no, if there is one thing I know about architecture is that Will did not take Kate up the aisle, the aisles are another part of a church. He took her up the Central Passageway! Second thoughts, I think Aisle sounds better! :/

   "Work hard bt make tym 4 ur luv, family & friends. Nobody remembers ur assignments and powerpoint presentations on ur funeral" - Some smart guy

   I would just like to point out on this momentous occasion today that historically, Roalty has always been a product of inbreeding

   I started to worry about my future, so I bought a ton of stock in my company, now I worry about the work I am putting out :/

   i dont think people enjoyed kates "train" as much as they watched her sisters "caboose"

   watched waterworld last nite, why was kevin costner and everyone so dirty when the entire world was covered in water?

   Kate maybe getting the Crown Jewels, but I'd much rather Harrys jewels!

   I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally.

   thinks everyone who got up early for the royal wedding is officially out of excuses for not exercising. See, you can find time if you want

   The Royal Wedding: it's like a Steve Jobs Keynote, but for girls...

   Men, if you watched the Royal Wedding, your balls will only be reissued upon confirmation of beer consumption & NFL draft discussion....

   all those people watching the "Royal Wedding" and not one dentist passing out business cards... wtf?

   Dear America. Since you keep whining about how you don't care about the Royal Wedding you should now have some idea how the rest of us feel about hearing about your Presidential elections every four years. Regards, The Rest of The World.

   wondering why the one country that's the most obsessed with the english royal family is the one that had a tantrum and left in 07.04.1776?

   Dont say good morning to me plz. I prefer a Hello!! so I can think its the late day, nite or something besides morning!

   Good men of this country fought and died to defend my right not to care about British royalty

   Am I sexually active? YES! I get screwed at the gas station once a WEEK!

   Women and tax forms have a lot in common…Men love to cheat on them.

   Fact: If you sneak away to fart loudly in private and get caught by some innocent person walking by, you have to now hate that person.

   Guys posting about the royal wedding should have their MAN CARDS revoked!!!