Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 130 of 6384
The most unrealistic part of Star Wars is that everyone knows how to fix their own spaceship.
←Rate |
11-10-2020 08:24
Comments (0)
Just checked my bank account and it looks like everyone is getting text messages for Christmas.
“once COVID is over” is starting to sound a lot like “once my kids clean their rooms.”
←Rate |
01-26-2021 08:14
Comments (0)
I know the birds that flew south for winter mad as hell right now.
←Rate |
02-18-2021 10:45
Comments (0)
STDs are not Pokémon, you don’t have to catch them all, Kim Kardashian.
←Rate |
11-16-2021 15:05
Comments (0)
I hate when people say "Well, it could have been worse." Well you know what, Becky? It could have been a hell of a lot better too!
←Rate |
11-18-2021 20:27
Comments (0)
Ladies, if three or more guys have called you crazy, you're crazy...
←Rate |
10-19-2017 14:01
Comments (1)
Are you supposed to sound like one of your parents when you sneeze?
←Rate |
10-20-2017 02:04
Comments (1)
Tanya Harding was taking a knee before it was cool.
←Rate |
10-22-2017 06:02
Comments (0)
Relationship status: Would get in the van
←Rate |
10-22-2017 06:03
Comments (0)
Costco: Where you can go broke saving money...
←Rate |
01-08-2018 09:20
Comments (0)
People who get offended on Facebook are the same people that take mini golf seriously
←Rate |
01-16-2018 02:58
Comments (0)
Today I saw a homeless man holding a sign that said "why live in a 100k home when I can live under a 3 million dollar bridge?" Now thats what I call being BOLD
←Rate |
01-16-2018 02:59
Comments (0)
Maybe, just maybe, if more teenagers got their mouths washed out with soap as a child by their parents, these idiots wouldn't be attempting a "Tide Pod Challenge" .....
←Rate |
01-17-2018 11:02
Comments (0)
How do nudist clean their glasses?
←Rate |
01-23-2018 21:24
Comments (0)
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they're thinking "Why don't you just eat ALL the food?"
←Rate |
01-31-2018 10:20
Comments (0)
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
←Rate |
02-21-2018 01:36
Comments (0)
All those Olympic curlers are headed back home now, where the wife is standing by the door with a mop and a broom saying "no more excuses"
←Rate |
02-26-2018 14:05
Comments (0)
Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
←Rate |
03-13-2018 02:30
Comments (0)
Why do famous people get things for free if they’re the ones that can afford it?
←Rate |
03-27-2018 09:10
Comments (0)