Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
If you're going to be a dcik, you might as well be a huge one 
The Nutley Mom from NJ turned 50 shades of tan !!!!!!!!
Question of the day: unibrows- sexy or an evil genius' plot to take over the world?
On a scale of 1 to LL Cool J, my dog doesn't lick his lips that much.
I never understood why women always have their hands in their bras. Then last night I found myself watching TV with my hand in my pants. It finally occurred to me...when you've got something great, you want to hold onto it. :)
Someone talking on his Smart phone while driving his Smart car got into an accident with a truck.....this was very oxymoronic .
If you love something, let it go... down on you.
Why can't we really post whats on our mind , because we'll be thought of as weird weak - I allmost didn't post this
Ohio has the won the BadA$$ state title of the year
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.jj
Not everything with a coin slot is a vending machine.. I mean, look at her.
Apparently Facebook is now Rated...NC-17?!
as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chair!!!
looks like I'm having pie all day....Thanks to 3-14 or 3.14
Things we are thankful for: #1: friends and family #2: caller I.D so we can avoid our friends and family.
hunting out dwarfs to dress up as leprechauns..
I dont need anger managment classes you need STFU classes ;)
ure. Well, DUH!! They need to put the Coke in first, THEN the Mentos.
whos your step daddy once removed by your second cousin?!
Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime? 