Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Fellas; Don't just rush to hit it. Take time to know her, then you'll know how to love her emotionally and physically.

   if Rambo had a gay son would his name be Rambutt?

   When a woman dies, God asks the angels “Was she married?' If the answer is 'yes', He says 'Take her to heaven she's been through hell already"

   ...Broken nose, bust lip, teeth knocked, black eye..but she started it so f**k her

   a friend on facebook whose status says "Suicidal - Standing on the edge of a cliff"....So I poked him...

   no wonder the yanks have their own so called "american football" coz they don't know how to play the real football..

   What's the deal with deaf people? Like, Hello?

   Obama checks Declaration of Independence.. fails to find National Treasure map on back.

   Arguing on facebook is like the special olympics, even if you win your still retarded

   #He said the reporter didn't have the brains they were born with? Ha ha ha. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.

   The story of People of Lut (or Lot) has been preserved for these exact times. To serve as reminder to us what the end result of People of Sodom & Gomorrah (pure destruction) for their deviant/foridden sexual practices. Our Maker has warned from such sins

   Jesus is so important, that the calendar we use, the Gregorian Calendar, is internationally the most widely accepted calendar throughout the world. And it's based on His birth. Not Darwin's.

   If I was prone to getting emotionally invested in a make believe world of words with no validity, I'd probably be more of a church-goer too

   Happy 75th Birthday,Elvis!

   I bet Adele sweats gravy.

   20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs... Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.

   two young boys are lying in a snow bank outside of church with their pants down. when asked what they were doing they said "father likes a couple cold ones before mass begins"

   Obama killed Osama and WE'RE getting the 72 versions.

   It sucks when you walk into a room, and you can't remember what you went in there for, so then you leave, then a few minutes later you remember that you're a fireman, and a bunch of people just died.

   Can't wait to celebrate James Earl Ray Day this Monday....