santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages
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If you were to combine all the holidays, you'd eat turkey, give presents, hide eggs, light fireworks, and dress like a sIutty nurse all in the same day.
There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
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11-24-2011 13:57 by g0re
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The radio shouldve started playing thanksgiving music instead of christmas music but the only song I can think of is Adam Sandlers Thanksgiving Song.
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11-23-2011 21:45
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Dear Santa, This year please bring me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix them up as you have in previous years. Thanks!
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11-23-2011 19:18
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That uneasy moment when Edward Cullen and Santa Clause run into each other because they're both watching you sleep.
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11-23-2011 13:35
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I love to use the holidays as an excuse to gift, re-gift and de-gift meaningless merchandise.....I wonder if that would qualify me as an "Indian Gifter"? ツ
I remmeber last year at christmas my ex girlfriend was so pissed that I gave her mother a mustache trimmer.
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11-22-2011 21:06
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My girlfriend wants something for Christmas that goes 0-200 in 3 seconds...So I think I will get her a scale.
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11-22-2011 19:41
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If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 yr old, and tell them its Santa Clause
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11-22-2011 18:33 by Daheavy1
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I am probably going to start my Christmas shopping this weekend. I am not sure which place is better, the Dollar Store, or the 99 Cent store.
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11-21-2011 18:29
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thankful that I have a job and can afford a nice Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas...and beer
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11-20-2011 14:28 by Migasjoe
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Someone could get rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights. Grrr....
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11-19-2011 13:14 by Dave
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You may be pushing Christmas a little too much if you take your candle out of your Jack-O-Lantern and stick it in your Window!!...Just Sayin..
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11-18-2011 10:57
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Every time a Christmas tree is lit before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer.
So I hear Sandusky's Santa application has been rejected...
If your parents ever call you a liar, just say "Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa". Then walk away like a BOSS!
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11-15-2011 20:29
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It would be really convenient if Christmas decorations grew on trees.
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11-14-2011 22:17
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All I want for Xmas is........... Red Solo Cup! I fill you up! Lets have a party!!!
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11-14-2011 20:12
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I don't deliver to Trailer Parks. If your house is on wheels, you must have done something wrong. - SANTA CLAUS
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11-14-2011 14:18
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Why I love winter: 1. Christmas morning with my kids 2. Snow 3. My wife keeps her clothes on during sex. 4. Liquor in my car stays cold
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11-13-2011 23:52
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