Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm what you might call an "incurable romantic". Although that's not the term they use at the Free Clinic.

   Channel 5 just showed a graph of the "Top 5 Wettest Months", but surprisingly, the month 'New Moon' came out was not on the list.

   ur mama is so poor she runs after a garbage truck with shopping list

   Lindt have just released the CHOCOLATE COATED TAMPON..... (but only for the EASTER PERIOD)

   Don't you just hate how some ppl get all crazy over a movie???? Like they think there is real life vampires out there who just stay up all night watching you sleep

   If only I had alzheimer's , then I too could join the easter egg hunt. :(

   wonders why who jog regularly cannot get through the day without telling someone how far they ran? Notice they have to sneak it into the conversation or they'll burst

   i would punch you in the face. But you Don't even deserve that

   Get away from me! What am i? Flypaper for freaks?

   Heidi and Spencer have decided to change their names to something more native american WTF? She chose white wolf, he chose running bear. What?" was "Plastic Robot" and "mighty douche" already taken?

   If roses are red and violets are blue, then what colour is violet?

   thinkin that girls a stunt... a little bit stupid and a little bit of a ....

   take your reeboks off you teeth and stop running your mouth

   Duct tape - $3.79, Shovel - $29.99, 50 lb. bag of lime - $14.99, Life without you - PRICELESS.

   I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

   wishes she could walk away, but her feet are stuck in the cement of your existence

   Why do people feel the need to let everyone know that they are deleting numbers out of their phone........Like I really give a FUGG

   : After today's announcement, Ricky Martin has also announced he will be pulling out (no pun intended) his No1 Hit Single off the shelves and re-release it as "He Bangs"

   a dude playing a dude, disguised as another dude.

   starting his spring cleaning tonight...so if you have 1 less friend in the morning, you'll know why!!!!