Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Got a strange look from a 70 year old woman in bike pants/black socks/sandles. I'm afraid she might have heard me say, "Hello, future."
←Rate | 04-22-2010 23:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you!
←Rate | 04-22-2010 22:14 by facebook.com/princeofdiscord Comments (0)  


   messageicon crazy people are exhausting!
←Rate | 04-22-2010 22:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Noah from the Bulls looks grungy, apperently basketball is so easy a caveman can do it.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 21:42 by Angelica Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking Robin Hood was a Democrat.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 21:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wondering if Google searches John Tesh for answers.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 21:26 by AT Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to make an app called Stephville that way people can gift me items that I need around the house.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 20:52 by steph_chartier@live.ca Comments (0)  


   messageicon having a "Who the hell is Mel Kiper? My mailman knows more about the draft than he does." moment !
←Rate | 04-22-2010 20:10 by Yeti Comments (0)  


   messageicon you cant drink all day if you dont start in the morning
←Rate | 04-22-2010 20:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves nerds 2² ever...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:49 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks movies are ruining books since 1920.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:49 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two extra lives...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:48 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks rock is dead. And paper killed it!
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon not bitter. I'm just unsweetened...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon an organ donor (see inside for details)...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon will resist peer pressure. All the cool kids are doing it...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:43 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon was thrown out of a casino for misunderstanding the use of a crap table.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon all for the paperless office, but doesn't think it should stretch to the toilets...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why a “fat chance” and a “slim chance” mean the same thing.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:27 by Joser Comments (0)  




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