Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon admits he only watches "Glee" for the hot, young a*s. Mmm
←Rate | 07-15-2010 21:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard that actor Mel Gibson had phoned several trusted friends for advice on how to handle his situation with girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. They included Alec Baldwin, Chris Brown, Michael Richards, Archie Bunker and the ghost of Gary Coleman.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 20:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ack when I flipped burgers at McD's, the big girls always wanted to date me, said I smelled good.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 20:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon eating fiber and smoking weed.... just for sh*ts and giggles
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:58 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon couldn't use my Shakeweight today... it had a headache
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:52 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon www.amish.com. How did this happen?
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:25 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I'm beginning to think the only real committed women are the ones who are institutionalized.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish there was a "I liked your Facebook status until every one of your moron friends had to comment on it
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think people would be less likely to piss me off if they knew how much I watch Forensic Files
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, "BFF" I've haven't spoken to in 4 months, you deleted me on Facebook?? It only took me a month to notice. I thought we were tight
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage changes passion....Suddenly you're in bed with a relative
←Rate | 07-15-2010 18:46 by nightenergy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello. My answers to yesterday's msgs, in order of their arrival. Yes. Tomorrow at 5pm. Duct tape & piano wire. Tonight's safety word will be banana. No. TY
←Rate | 07-15-2010 18:36 by derek Comments (0)  


   messageicon Live, Laugh, Love, Lesbians, :)
←Rate | 07-15-2010 18:32 by kenny Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex-girfriend has a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh... if you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean!
←Rate | 07-15-2010 18:26 by geez Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pizza+Coke+Double Chocolate Fudge=Life is good!!;)
←Rate | 07-15-2010 18:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think of how different the world would be if Noah had eaten those two chickens.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK so I'm a guy so I'm not going to pretend like I'm an expert on the subject but HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!!
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shakeweight...providing practical excercise for ladies since 2009
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently the forklifts at home depot are "not meant for racing and for employee use only."They should really get a sign..
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:54 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I plan on using a treasure map as my will
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:54 by Joser Comments (0)  




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