Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon What's 7 inches long with a purple head and women love it? ... A twenty pound note!
←Rate | 07-15-2010 15:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mel Gibson's girlfriend coulda had it worse... HE COULDA been a Brazilian Goalkeeper...
←Rate | 07-15-2010 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon peer preasure wont work I will not try your the automatic friend frinder facebook
←Rate | 07-15-2010 14:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTF is up with people hating on HipHop these days? Thanks to Lil Wayne,I now know that a "Goblin" is better than a "Goon", Pitbull taught Me how to count to 4 in Spanish, and Plies taught me how to be intimate with a woman by pouring Kool-Aid down her a$$
←Rate | 07-15-2010 14:13 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon I may not meet my wife in college...But I damn sure have met my bros throwing my bachelor party
←Rate | 07-15-2010 13:54 by @Ima_runpastya FOLLOW ME Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stood in front of a mirror for 10 minutes to watch myself blink... I missed it everytime!
←Rate | 07-15-2010 12:36 by geez Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to find Osama is like trying to find Waldo....I give up.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shakeweight.......most akward way of working out xD
←Rate | 07-15-2010 12:22 by Shyloh Comments (0)  


   messageicon IPhone 4 should have just came out on T-Mobile b/c they have one thing in~\..........Hello, Hello...../~common
←Rate | 07-15-2010 12:14 by @Steady Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists they don't know why this is true, but it's true. Women with big rear ends live longer.. Men who tell them that, Don't."
←Rate | 07-15-2010 12:10 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh didnt I tell you? Must have been none of your f*cking business."
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:45 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon if Silvia Brown wanted to really impress me, she should send me a note telling me that she knows that I'm not gonna be at her concert.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at the end of your life you have no regrets, you did it wrong.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attn BP: When this is all over, will the Gulf of Mexico be regular, midgrade or premium?
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon I've been embraced by reality... does anyone know how to make it let go?
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've invented a new low-intensity cardio workout that requires me to lay completely still on the couch.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon says Its funny how sitting "boy girl boy girl" use to be a punishment...
←Rate | 07-15-2010 10:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dyson has a line of fans to add to their line of vacuums. Dysonnow proudly makes products that sucks and blows.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 10:09 by sheenah Comments (0)  


   messageicon Figuring out the three seashells thing is a very messy business...
←Rate | 07-15-2010 09:18 Comments (0)  




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