Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Daffy Duck calls the hotel desk and asks for a condom. They ask "shall we put it on your bill", she says "are you thucking thupid i'll thuffocate!"......
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08-16-2010 07:45
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When things go wrong as they usually will and your daily road seems all uphill, when funds are low and debts are high, when you try to smile but can only cry. when you really feel like you should quit, don't call me, I don't give a S#@t.
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08-16-2010 07:43 by DD
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havin octopus for dinner tonight :)
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08-16-2010 06:08 by predasa
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We're not old people we're recycled teenagers!!!!!
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08-16-2010 04:32
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The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the meat.
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08-16-2010 03:38 by cgjh
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Sky-diving: good til the last drop.
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08-16-2010 03:37 by wert
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POVERTY: Having too much month left at the end of the money.
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08-16-2010 03:34 by fhgjg
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Schizophrenia beats being alone.
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08-16-2010 03:33 by fgg
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Blow your mind -- smoke gunpowder.
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08-16-2010 03:32 by big d
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Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.
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08-16-2010 03:30 by Danny
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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08-16-2010 03:29 by bull
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The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
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08-16-2010 03:28 by FMLYHM
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I think I drink too much... my liver is so shriveled, black and dead, if you put your ear up to it you can hear Gary Coleman.
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08-16-2010 02:47 by e.n.
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i don't always drink beer but when I do I prefer to get wasted

Quick!! Someone make a status update about tomorrow being Monday and how you're already counting down the days until the weekend is here...
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08-16-2010 00:07 by DAYAM
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Welcome to my world:-)...Oh yeah, I forgot..your not in it..:-/
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08-15-2010 23:57
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I miss ___________. I rather not mention you b/c your not worth mentioning :-)
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08-15-2010 23:54
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Status Unavailable. Please Try Again Later.
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08-15-2010 22:33
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Last night I had an epifanny....I realized I couldn't spell.
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08-15-2010 22:27
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Tried to order at McDonald's today, couldn't understand her. So I started poking her forehead with my finger, I was trying to push 1 for English.
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08-15-2010 22:26
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