Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5750 of 6374
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger...and then it hit me
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
just two away from a threesome
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Computer games don't effect kids, I mean if Pac-Man affected kids, we'll all be around darkened rooms munching magic pills, listening to repetitive electronic music.
←Rate |
07-23-2010 00:45 by savio
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
...it's not you, it's me. I don't like you
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
thinks if you have a chip on your shoulder, you're missing your mouth.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
fed up with all the emails I keep getting on how to enlarge my penis, particularly since I'm a woman...so I've forwarded them to my ex.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
feeling politely confrontational this evening. Would anyone care for a piece of me?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
not remotely sober. Nor am I sober up close.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
has often thought that what doesn't kill us makes us drink stronger liquor
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
always wanted to be somebody. Now she realises that she should have been more specific.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
thinks there should be a Facebook button that says "I liked your status until every man and his dog decided to comment on it".
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
There are 3 kinds of people in the world. One is the solution to the problem, one is the problem, while the other is wondering what was the problem???
←Rate |
07-23-2010 00:32 by Corey C
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
thinks that iPad is an iPod for fat people.
←Rate |
07-23-2010 00:01
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
realized that a dog is truly a mans best friend. Locked the dog and the wife in the car boot for 1hour. Guess who was happy to see me and who wasn't??
←Rate |
07-22-2010 23:31 by samdave69
Comments (2)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
People who say I am hard to shop for evidently don't know where to buy beer.
←Rate |
07-22-2010 22:49 by JW
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
made two batches of brownies at a friend's house, one plain and one special. accidentally brought the wrong batch home to my very mormon mother. she's laughing her ass off at george carlin right now
←Rate |
07-22-2010 22:26
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
There's a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it's called alcohol.