Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5744 of 6384
As time passes you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will. Love what you've got. And remember what you had. People change, things go wrong but life goes on
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07-29-2010 20:35 by SUPA SAM
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it just me or is Ed Hardy and Affliction in an all out war with each other to make the douchiest t-shirt possible. These things are like 95% rhinestones and glitter, these shirts scream I touch myself when I watch Brokeback Mountain.
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07-29-2010 20:27 by bunnyguts
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William Shatner (capt Kirk) will be staring in a new sitcom based on a twitter feed. This isn't the first show inspired by social networking. "Dateline Predator" was based on Myspace.
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07-29-2010 20:14
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YES!!! I kenw it!!! The world will not end in 2012 - I just found a bottle of ketchup that expires in 2013...
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07-29-2010 19:41 by Trews
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She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
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07-29-2010 19:40 by Aaron
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stopping by the Wachovia bank yesterday to exchange money. The teller asked me to fix all the bills to face the same way and straight 'em out while chit-chatted with her co-worker. WTF was her job description say?
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07-29-2010 19:24
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If I had a nickel for every time I ignored your petville request, I could buy the L.A. Zoo..
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07-29-2010 18:51 by rush1oc
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about as nutty as a squirrel's turd
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07-29-2010 18:48 by SLAYER
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If Facebook was a job everybody would b rich
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07-29-2010 18:45
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Today is a whole new day to f*ck up!
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07-29-2010 18:40 by rush1oc
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beer: the reason I get up every afternoon..
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07-29-2010 18:39 by rush1oc
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
30-year-mortgage, 5-year-car-financing, and lifetime gym membership, but women still say that men have problem with commitment.
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07-29-2010 18:31
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Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.
more nervous than a ceiling fan salesman with a toupe.
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07-29-2010 18:28
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I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.
If you wouldn't wear your GF shirt that has rhinestones and glitter, why would it be ok to wear one that has some other guys name on it that reads Ed Hardy?
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07-29-2010 17:59
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still amazed that the technologically challenged are drawn like moths to a flame towards the Self-Check out Lanes at every large Grocery.
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07-29-2010 17:12 by brianva66
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Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date.
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07-29-2010 16:58
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My seatbelt makes me feel so secure ... Like nothing can get me... I love how it protects me so..... ;)
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07-29-2010 16:38
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