Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5737 of 6384
GET TO THE CHOPPER!!
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08-01-2010 01:58 by Aaron
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sufferring from two different mental disorders: OCD, and extreme laziness. it's an ever-present conflict. The will to maintain order vs the desire to not do a single thing about it.
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08-01-2010 01:34
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I'm just a man but if you want I can still be your superman or prince charming! ♥
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08-01-2010 01:33 by BEGO
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once I get a grip on reality I plan on choking it to death...
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08-01-2010 01:30
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A man in Atlanta is raising money for charity by not speaking for a month and only communicating on facebook. Is there anyway to get "the view" and Oprah on board for this?
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08-01-2010 01:18
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I really hope cell phones aren't bad for us, but I would like the excuse: 'I can't talk right now. You're giving me cancer.'
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08-01-2010 00:50 by Aaron
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Honey, remember to address the dog as "Dr." Scruffy. We didn't pay for eight years of post-grad obedience school for nothing.
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08-01-2010 00:48 by Aaron
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I live and yearn.
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08-01-2010 00:47 by Aaron
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It's not that the elderly drive badly. It's just that they're the only ones with the time to do the speed limit.
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08-01-2010 00:43 by Aaron
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that myspace and facebook should team up together so that you can invite your friends to come on myface.
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08-01-2010 00:42
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I think NASCAR would be fun if they added a 92-year old driving the opposite way in a Duster.
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08-01-2010 00:40 by Aaron
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Yea your in my room. I can be as almost naked as I want...
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08-01-2010 00:39 by Aaron
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damn mu gigantic thumbs on this litle blavkbetry keyborsd
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07-31-2010 23:55 by nope
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If you don't like my words, don't listen. If you don't like my appearance, don't look. If you don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.
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07-31-2010 23:18 by SUPA SAM
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best way to start a day is with a happy ending!!
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07-31-2010 22:52
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its not that I cant do a rubiks cube its just your colorblind.. :)
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07-31-2010 19:59
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just read that burglars use Facebook to find out when people aren't home... so from now on, i'm at home, with a knife, and a hungry alligator (:
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07-31-2010 19:15 by Chelsea
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now playing "Ice Ice Baby" Dont Judge Me
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07-31-2010 18:33
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I hate it when at the drive thru they give you 2 packs of sauce sauce for a 10 nuggets, but 2 packs of ketchup for a large fry! WTF?!
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07-31-2010 18:21
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Drag racing would be a lot more fun if I didn't have to wear a dress.