Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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I'm not naughty! I'm just mischievously creative!
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08-20-2010 22:52 by Ash
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Just saved a bunch of money on my Mental Insurance by switching to Psycho!
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08-20-2010 21:46 by Jeff
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Nothing pisses me off like a bird WALKING across a street. No it's cool. I'll wait. BTW You can FLY dumbass!
drinks, dinner, drinks....rinse and repeat...happy Friday..smile
The Klondike Bar found out what I did for it, and now it's blackmailing me."
Restaurants, please stop trying to get clever with your restroom signs. I have a very small bladder."
Dear people in the apartment beneath me: banging on your ceiling doesn't make me want to finish any sooner. It actually makes me want to leave the vacuum on indefinitely....and I think I'll go take a shower now, too."
[This post has been removed for breaking facebook community guidelines]
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08-20-2010 18:57
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who can name the 6 great kings who ave brought immense happiness in two people's lifes ?? Drin-King, Fuc-King, Lic-King, Suc-King, Span-King and Wan-king
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08-20-2010 18:47 by ANGELA
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I spent 3 hours watching Big Brother tonight, thinking all that lazy woman has done is lay on the sofa eating crisps and drinking fizzy.Then I realised the TV wasn't even on...it was just the reflection off the screen.
if it were not for mimosa's...I would not reach my daily recommended allowance of Vitamin C
gone and she left this message to carry on. Those who know her know her well and those who befriended her can go to hell!
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08-20-2010 18:19
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Cell phones should be able to be solar charged
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08-20-2010 18:15
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I'm just one tainted egg away from my goal weight…
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08-20-2010 17:45
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'Wish you would jump off from that ledge my friend, You could cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in' I would understand!!
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08-20-2010 17:33
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If you have more than one Bluetooth…does that mean you have blue teeth?
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08-20-2010 17:11
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I wonder if it bothers Morpheus that his daughter's job is to smile for the camera and take it in the rabbit hole
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08-20-2010 17:05 by Neo
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Nobody goes to that Bar anymore. It's too crowded... wait, what, nevermind, let's go!"
Wyclef Jean is running for President of Haiti. He should pledge to make Lauryn Hill his Secretary of Miseducation.
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08-20-2010 15:53 by jdpower
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why does a woman have two sets of lips? One to argue with the other to apologize.