Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5630 of 6384
Holy Wars are just arguments about who has a better imaginary friend.
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09-11-2010 18:17 by Zack
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9/11...i thought it was on the 9th of November....i'll never get used the US date thing!
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09-11-2010 17:56
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the greatest day ever will be when the US decides to nuke the middle East , killing all the camel jockeys
Most Good People Say: Forgive & Forget, But 9/11 Is Not One Of Those Days That Is Possible...
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09-11-2010 17:03
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My girl, it's difficult to say what she does....she sells sea shells on the sea shore.
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09-11-2010 15:27 by Aaron
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It takes 4 toilet paper rolls to suck all the water out of the toilet. This is also just enough to bring a one year old great joy.
As I was listening to myself sneeze, I realized it sounds like "eh choo" not "ah choo" so maybe my sneeze is Canadian?
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09-11-2010 14:08
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Here's a secret tip for X-files fans: Drink two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place with all recollections of the previous nights events mysteriously "erased".
Honestly, I love every single some of you.
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09-11-2010 09:01 by Aaron
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I bet Clint Eastwood uses the most badass denture adhesive available.
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09-11-2010 09:00 by Aaron
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wondering why the big uproar about burning Crayons??
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09-11-2010 08:53
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Someday, I'd like to take a train across the country.. but they never leave the keys in them.
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09-11-2010 08:46 by Aaron
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going to spend his cab money on more shots and just get an ambulance home
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09-11-2010 03:54
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Celebrate 9/11/2010 by burning a copy of the Patriot Act.
I dont know if my piggy bank is sick or anorexic but its been getting real skinny lately and I dont wanna be charged to animal cruelty so time to make some cash.
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09-11-2010 03:16
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waking up next to Julie Chen with no make-up makes me want to saw me penis off with a rusty car key
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09-11-2010 00:57 by levon
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According to every arcade in the world, 'AAA' and 'ASS' are the most common initials
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09-10-2010 23:09
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To the brave souls who lost their lives tragically 9 years ago today.. may you never be forgotten R.I.P
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09-10-2010 22:24 by me
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Thinks facebook has ruined school reunions.. now everyone knows your full of sh*t before you get there..
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09-10-2010 21:42 by me
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When on vacation, don't take pictures of building...take pictures of moments...Keep them close to your heart and never let them go!
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09-10-2010 20:53
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