Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   was so disappointed when he found out that it was called "we day" not "weed day"...

   "This is not an assignment you can casually handle doing the night before". You may as well be challenging me

   Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.

   "You don't marry the person you can live with...You Marry the person You cant live without!"

   P.E.T.A.= People Eating Tasty Animals....... I LOVE HUNTING SEASON!

   Ok now hey you stop poking you want sex..

   If everyday is a gift then today was socks.

   you never realize how annoying people are until you add them on facebook :)

   I'm saving myself for marriage. Sorry, FROM. Saving myself FROM marriage

   its better to waste years waiting for the right person to come than to waste years regretting that you didnt

   I came up with a stupid status today, but I forgot what it was.

   Arguing with a fool proves there are two.

   Note to vegetarians: My food poops on your food. Enjoy that salad!

   *Looks at the world* --- *Looks at his keyboard and furiously presses Alt+Ctrl+Del*

   Ever accidentally pull something out of your purse thinkin it was a pen when checking out?? Yep, that's how my days goin...

   Don't make me use UPPERCASE.

   I just got an inappropriate text message from Bret Favre.

   drink up everybody! Its somebody's birthday today.

   goes from married to single in 5.5 shots of Tequila.

   Doesn't have children , she has insane little mental patients !