Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5590 of 6384
Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.
My 2011 New Years Resolution is to hangout with more than 2 of my facebook friends.
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09-25-2010 01:57 by L
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I listened patiently for you to make a noise but you never did. Reluctantly I had to admit you were right, it was a bottomless pit.
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09-25-2010 01:35 by Aaron
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I keep pictures of all of you in my wallet.
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09-25-2010 01:26 by Aaron
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I wonder if my mailman even recognized me with my clothes on.
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09-25-2010 01:16 by Aaron
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Why were the police ever issued with pepper sprays? Surely this will lead to the creation of more seasoned criminals.
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09-25-2010 00:25 by @seddy90
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˙ɹǝʌoƃuɐɥ ʇsɹoʍ ǝɥʇ sɐɥ
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09-24-2010 23:51
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can't seem to put out old flames, especially when they come back blazing in glory.
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09-24-2010 23:29
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Think outside the facebox.
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09-24-2010 23:27 by Zack
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, lady, well, shame on Lionel Richie.
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09-24-2010 23:08 by @seddy90
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One of our cats sits on the toilet lid and stares at the shower curtain while we take a shower. We're not sure if he's life-guarding or just amazed about how brave we are.
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09-24-2010 22:57 by @seddy90
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When I was young I thought getting a yeast infection was sitting on dirty muffins while youre not wearing any underwear!
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09-24-2010 22:13
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Apparently there's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
From now on I'm boycotting Shampoo....I demand REALPoo!!!!
I'm always hearing stories of people posting "Inappropriate" pics on Facebook....Why are none of YOU showing me nude pics my friends????
Thank God Facebook is back on-line! How would I ever find out what everyone had for dinner. Chicken souvlaki. BTW.
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09-24-2010 21:06
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