Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5588 of 6384
Love don't cost a thing." Except a lot of tears, a broken heart, and wasted years.
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09-25-2010 23:59 by BEGO
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Remember this next time you're about to say something stupid to me: Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
A little boy examines his privates while in the bath. "Mommy, are these my brains?" His mother says, "Not yet."
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved
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09-25-2010 20:46
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Filling out a job application. Under 'Military Experience' I put that I once went commando for 4 days in a row.
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09-25-2010 20:15 by Aaron
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Women should come with a log book of past activities
Instead of tagging me in ugly pictures on Facebook, I wish you could just say "I hate you" straight to my face.
I love piecing my night together one drunk text at a time.
It's cute how the news wants me to stick around until 11 for the forecast. As if I didn't have 100 other ways to get that info in seconds.
Sometimes really old people scare the sh*t out of me.
Everytime I hear strangers talking to each other in foreign languages I always automatically assume they're talking sh*t.
I am REALLY good at what I do. You know, procrastinating and stuff.
I have been checking facebook less and less. If this continues, I'll eventually forget about all those people for the 2nd time.
doing the 'Fandango'...
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09-25-2010 17:19
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This is what will happen if you look like me............(SMACK)
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09-25-2010 15:33
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(SINGS) this is the Song that Never ends.. it just goes on and on my friend.. Some ppl started singing it not knowing what it was, & they'll continue singing it 4ever just because... LOL!! Bet your singing it now too! YW!
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09-25-2010 14:41
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Maury: "Darth Vader, you.... ARE the father." Luke: "Nooooo!"
I love the way you laugh....mostly because your boobs jiggle when you do :)
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09-25-2010 14:08 by @TeeWuu86
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Don't wait untill friday, start your weekend at monday !!
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09-25-2010 14:03
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