Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5513 of 6384
what is 69 + 1? A threesome..
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10-20-2010 17:07
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Who says Obama's $870 Billion stimulus isn't creating job? About 50 house Republicans are gonna get a job because of it.
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10-20-2010 17:05
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One reason I hate politics is because of all the junk mail you get these days about one worthless candidate bashing the next about what a terrible job they are/would be doing. Personally I think they all suck. My name is John and I approve this message.
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10-20-2010 16:37 by J.A.
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i have no problem sacrificing for friends......... but it is hard to find a virgin and suitable altar
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10-20-2010 16:00
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Bought a pair of pajamas with pockets. Thank God, cause she use to have hold everything while she slept.
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10-20-2010 15:39
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Don't worry about what other people think because they rarely ever do.
"Now, how's he gonna read that magazine all rolled up like that?"... thought the spider.
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10-20-2010 15:05 by jimbo
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Was asked if I really believe in zombies. I informed him that no, zombies are not real and that its just a pop culture thing. He then walked away pleased with answer I had given him. Now I can't wait to see the look on his face when the next zombie outbre
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10-20-2010 14:50 by ff1241
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Might get my balls botoxed today.
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10-20-2010 14:36 by Aaron
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as confused as a chameleon in a bag of skittles.
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10-20-2010 14:29
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Have you ever looked at the last few loads of dirty laundry and considered just throwing them away??
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10-20-2010 14:24 by Heather25
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Wonders why eleven isn't just onety-one...
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10-20-2010 14:16
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I wish the ATM machine would spit me out an extra 20 just one damn time!!
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10-20-2010 14:15
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Did you know that you can't hum with ur nose plugged??
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10-20-2010 14:10
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Do sheep get heavy in the rain??
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10-20-2010 14:08
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bored of poking, can we have a spank button??
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10-20-2010 13:43 by Heather25
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Remember, we're not here for a long time, we're here for a GOOD TIME!!!
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10-20-2010 13:34
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Mean people suck. Nice people swallow. Great people do BOTH. ;)
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10-20-2010 13:33 by Heather25
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The NFL should change it's name to the little girls league with all these rules. Football is a violent and physical sport, if you get hurt, it's part of the job.
It's time for attention to pay me instead.