Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5455 of 6385
Yeah....Hi, I'm watching your commercial cash for gold and you just showed a woman selling her wedding ring for $500. No, I don't want to sell gold, I want to meet her. She's hot and we know her marriage isn't working
off to Mamby Pamby land ya Jackwagon....
←Rate |
11-08-2010 21:58
Comments (0)
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn" - my dinner.
←Rate |
11-08-2010 21:54 by SKP
Comments (0)
The problem with finding out who your real friends are, is finding out who your real friends aren't
Next halloween I'm gonna dress as a shrub and randomly sit in peoples front yards
←Rate |
11-08-2010 21:36 by Darksim
Comments (0)
I've been burnt by love before. Not in heart broken sort of way but in a the candle wax was a bit to hot way.
←Rate |
11-08-2010 20:39
Comments (0)
Word of the day:FOCUS. If someone annoys the sh*t out of u, tell them 2 FOCUS.(F**k Off Cause Ur Stupid!!!!)
←Rate |
11-08-2010 20:18
Comments (0)
Picturs of the queen naked.....Oopps! this is'nt Google
←Rate |
11-08-2010 20:16
Comments (0)
A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood.
←Rate |
11-08-2010 19:42 by JimJR
Comments (0)
Could you imagine the conversation between an owl and Mike Jones?!
←Rate |
11-08-2010 19:34 by JimJR
Comments (2)
Why be the doctor when you can be the patient? Why cook the food when you can eat it? Why drive the car when you can sit shot-gun? all these are reasons why I enjoy watching other people work.
←Rate |
11-08-2010 19:15
Comments (0)
My Pagophobia always seems to kick in around this time of year.
←Rate |
11-08-2010 18:46
Comments (0)
In the game of Life, everybody is bald and rides with the top down.
←Rate |
11-08-2010 18:18
Comments (0)
I JUST SAW MCDONALDS IS BRINGING BACK THIER "MCRIB" SANDWICH AGAIN. FROM WHAT I REMEMBER AFTER EATING ONE YEARS AGO, I THINK I'm GOING TO CUT OUT THE MIDDLE MAN. I WILL BUY IT AND THEN PUT IT DIRECTLY IN THE TOILET. I WILL SPARE MYSELF THE DISCOMFORT
←Rate |
11-08-2010 18:18
Comments (0)
just heard the villian in the next Batman movie is a guy who's exposed to high levels of radiation and becomes the Speaker of the House of Representatives
Birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece.
←Rate |
11-08-2010 17:36 by kfiff
Comments (0)
been searching and searching all her life, and STILL can't find the yellow brick road!
←Rate |
11-08-2010 16:00
Comments (0)
Do you ever get so mad you start texting/typing with your middle fingers?
←Rate |
11-08-2010 15:49
Comments (0)
Today's Email: "I moved Bush's new memoir to the crime section at my bookstore".
←Rate |
11-08-2010 15:22 by Aaron
Comments (1)
Queen Elizabeth now has a Facebook page,going to give her a poke