Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5383 of 6386
It dosen't mtetar in waht oredr the lettres in a wrod are. The olny imtorpant thnig is taht the frist and lsat leettr be in the rhgit palce. The rset can be a ttoal mses and you can stlil raed it wihtout peoblrm.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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12-01-2010 18:50
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I hate when girls show there muffin top and still think there sexy
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12-01-2010 18:06
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Easy Bake Oven, Teaching Girls Their Place Since 1963
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12-01-2010 18:06
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Girls have more guy friends because they cause less drama
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12-01-2010 18:03
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Sarcasm is a dish best served instantly.
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12-01-2010 17:17
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Mother Nature is blowing everyone tonight.
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12-01-2010 17:13
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"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison."
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12-01-2010 16:29
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If I ever win the lottery, the first thing I'm doing with my winnings is hiring Morgan Freeman to read me bedtime stories.
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12-01-2010 15:10
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its Wednesday...How about a mercy hump?
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12-01-2010 14:54
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This vacuum has amazing suction, but no respect for my safe word.
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12-01-2010 14:33
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I am obsessed with Morgan Freeman's voice. I want him to narrate my inner monologue.
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12-01-2010 13:56
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With Ireland having a trouble these days, I say we should come up with a St Pattys Day in December. All profits will go to bail out Ireland!
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12-01-2010 13:52 by lou
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wondering about Over under on the WikiLeak punk 'making friends' with his prison cell mate? I'll open the line at 1 month.
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12-01-2010 13:29 by Vybe
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If your on a dating website and didn't post a picture of yourself. It should be mandatory to disclose the amount of teeth you will show up with in you mouth on the first date.
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12-01-2010 13:24 by ff1241
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My vacuum cleaner bag says to change every 30-60 days. Here, I always thought it was 30-60lbs...
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12-01-2010 13:19
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just sharpening a pencil to make a point.
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12-01-2010 12:43
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I'm seeing alot of couple getting joint facebook accounts and call them for example "JohnandJaneDoe". Ah, nothing says love like I don't trust you to have your own facbeook page. So, lets get one together so we can keep tabs on each other Dear.
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12-01-2010 12:41
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see my ex is now on facebook and is married with children. Well one man's trash is another man's recyclable.
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12-01-2010 12:38
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I see my ex is now on facebook and is married with children. Well one man's trash is another man
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12-01-2010 12:36
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