Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5363 of 6386
thinking if somebody invented vibrating tampons women would enjoy their period a lot more!!
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12-09-2010 17:16
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The only # game I am playing is Barcardi 151, Seagrams 7&7, Weller 107 and maybe Maddog 20/20!!!
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12-09-2010 16:54
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My car heater has two settings: face melting and off.
Every Christmas Eve my family tries to break the record of number of people stuffed into one kitchen.
If you always do what you have always done, then you will get what you have always got.
I hate people that say, "He's a nice person once you get to know him." They might as well just say, "He's a d!ckhead, but you'll get used to it"
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
I upgraded...am I supposed to feeel differntly?
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12-09-2010 15:47
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This job thing is for the birds, how does one go about signing up for the welfare?
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12-09-2010 15:39 by SeanyB
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Trapped in a mine in New Zealand... Shouldn't be too bad. ...If you can avoid the orcs, trolls and the gigantic Balrog.
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12-09-2010 13:29 by solomane
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loves selling stuff on the internet to people who don't know him ...he's already sold the same homing pigeon 24 times on eBay.
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12-09-2010 13:26 by xeron
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Girls are like universities. he spend hours looking at them, only to realise he can't get into any of them.
can't believe he got sacked from the calendar factory...All he did was take a day off.
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12-09-2010 13:23 by gdh
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Waking the Dead. One letter away from being the most controversial show on TV.
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12-09-2010 13:22 by badmin
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If you thought the Vuvuzelas at South Africa were annoying, wait til you hear the automatic weapons the Russians bring to the World Cup.
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12-09-2010 13:18 by diamond
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working as a waiter. The pay isn't great but I put food on the table.
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12-09-2010 13:17 by gdh
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Just downloaded the new FIFA to his Laptop, tried to open the file and it said it was corrupt.
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12-09-2010 13:14 by seabass
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I saw a poor old lady slip on the ice this morning and knock herself out......I assume she was poor cause she only had 48 cents in her purse!
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12-09-2010 11:35 by lol
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Remembering things on my own makes me feel like I'm cheating on Google.
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12-09-2010 10:33 by Biggie
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of all the copyright infringements on youtube.....they leave Justin Beiber, Jermaine Dupris and Master P.....but they remove Bob Marley!! What's next....make weed illegal??
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12-09-2010 10:14 by trini
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