Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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#43210 I don't really even know who you are. You friend requested me and we know some of the same people- unless you really don't know them either. but you seem nice enough, I suppose.
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12-10-2010 09:17
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wondering what's the deal with Lokos. Beer flavored Kool-Aid? Grow up and drink liquor.
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12-10-2010 09:10
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Really? Snooki is going to be IN the ball as it descends on NYE?!? And the cast of the Jersey Shore will lead a fist pump? Does Al Qaeda have a request line??
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12-10-2010 07:45 by Yaj
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Wow!! Scientists have created mice from two males. Sadly, the mice cannot ask, nor tell, about it. ....
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12-10-2010 07:40 by Bill
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it's funny how the ;) can make anything seem dirty................
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12-10-2010 07:27 by Iqra:)
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#192.168.1.1 I'm only friends with you because you're too stupid to secure your router ;)
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12-10-2010 05:41
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Life gives guys a lot of lemons, but life gives girls a set of melons.
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12-10-2010 04:33
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wonders why - while changing your clothes at the YMCA - old men have to flaunt and swing their wrinkled junk around? Its like they're trying to prove their manhood or attempting to iron out the wrinkles, I'm not sure.
thinks anyone caught wikileaking in public should be prosecuted.
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12-10-2010 02:26
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Modern tragedy... Dumb people with smartphones
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12-10-2010 01:20
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growing up we all had that one friend that would raid your fridge and eat all the good snacks when all you did was offer them a drink. I was that friend
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12-10-2010 00:17 by bigweenis
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Don't blow my snow man
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12-10-2010 00:10
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come to the conclusion, that boxer briefs are like a bra for my balls
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12-09-2010 23:56 by Joe
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I was excited to bring home my Xmas Tree but I didn't have the heart to tell it I'd be leaving it in the street for dead in just a few weeks.
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12-09-2010 23:47 by jdpower
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Snookie's gonna drop in the ball on New Years? Really? That's a family thing not a stripper pole!!!
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12-09-2010 23:43
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F*ck your Four Loko. I swallowed my Day-Quil with 5 Hour energy & a latte & now my pet unicorn Steve & I are off to bake cheesecakes.
My girlfriend made me promise that when I fly home this Christmas it was her that I fantasized about during my "TSA pat down"
Started watching a documentary about Fort Knox but I found it really hard to get into.
How do 3 gay guys sit on 1 bar stool? ..... They flip it upside down
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12-09-2010 23:09
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You know shes a stalker . . . . or a serial killer, if you wake up at 3 'o clock in the morning and shes staring at you. . . in the dark. . . . .and says. . . "You know that I love you right?"