Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5360 of 6386
can't wait to see the drunk version of me on camera
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12-10-2010 14:37
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Me + Nyquil = <3
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12-10-2010 14:30
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Screw your Four Loko... I've got a Dayquil with a 5hour energy and Grande Latte chaser with my name on it!... If you dont believe me, just ask my pet Unicorn
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12-10-2010 14:30 by BOO
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I wish I was more mature in high school to understand all those passes made by girls.
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12-10-2010 13:59 by Deep
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you can easily geta smartphone these days but hard to find smart people.
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12-10-2010 13:56 by Deep
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Sorry, my social calender is full this weekend. Going to a HoeDown, a Shindig and a Hootenanny.
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12-10-2010 13:24
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doing the Safety Dance and leaving my friends behind.
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12-10-2010 13:15
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will be home late for supper. I'm going to a ho-down and I cant leave until she get's back up.
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12-10-2010 12:58 by juneau
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Weekend goal: To get some dirty deeds done dirty cheap.
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12-10-2010 12:38
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What's the point of being a lesbian if a woman is going to look and act like an imitation man?
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12-10-2010 12:26 by lol
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After countless days of research I have solved the mystery.....When Santa says HO! HO! HO!...He is thinking of last name of his 3 favorite naughty sisters...Ima, Ivana, and Anita...
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12-10-2010 12:22 by ken
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Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
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12-10-2010 12:19 by lol
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Everyday I hear people say they would to take a break and get some fresh air. So, this year I'm wrapping some up in boxes and giving as Christmas gifts.
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12-10-2010 12:02
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My Nephew asked me about getting women .I said it helps if you are quite big down there and that maybe he should shove a cucumber down his pants.He came back to me and said all the girls laughed at him,Maybe I should have told him to put it in the front.
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12-10-2010 11:11
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I have tried it all to get my girl to call out my name in bed, but nothing has worked.My last hope now is to change my name to "Already?".
Happy wife.. Happy life!
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12-10-2010 11:05 by Boo
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if you listen very carefuly you can hear Monday sharpen her claws in the distance
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12-10-2010 10:20
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Ah yes, the first real snow storm of the year... where 1/4 of drivers simultaneously gain an amazing ability to jam their heads up someplace uncomfortable.
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12-10-2010 10:12 by Stragen
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This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's christmas list.
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12-10-2010 10:07 by Ianmwash
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I would kill for a nobel peace price
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12-10-2010 10:06 by kibobi
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