Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5327 of 6386
If I had it my way my ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future would be Raquel Welch, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Alba.
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12-23-2010 18:54
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✔ Food ✔ Beer ✔ More food ✔ Suit ✔ Laundry ✔ Wine ❒ Christmas Gifts ..... Damn
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12-23-2010 18:51
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hoping to be visited by the ghost of Christmas Past. That way I can go back gaze upon those great times.
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12-23-2010 18:38
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.....
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12-23-2010 17:59 by kari1121
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a quick message to all who sent me good wishes for Christmas last year - they didn't work - so... this year can I have money, vouchers and alcohol please ;)
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12-23-2010 17:34
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bored, tell me a secret below. I won't tell anyone, I promise.
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12-23-2010 17:28
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Notice: Thank you for noticing this notice. Your noticing this notice has been noticed.
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12-23-2010 17:27
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If I haven't seen you naked enter your name below so we can sort this problem out :P
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12-23-2010 17:26
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Pregnancy Advice: A stork might bring you a baby, but a swallow never will.
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12-23-2010 17:24
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The cops found a missing person with nappy hair, crusty feet, doo-doo stained undies, holding a Happy Meal bag. I'm worried SICK... are you okay?
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12-23-2010 17:23
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Speeding Ticket Excuse... I thought you wanted to race
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12-23-2010 17:22
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I hate when people put every detail of everything they do on here! I don't want to know about what you are doing at every moment, be right back I have to poop!
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12-23-2010 17:19
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Words of Wisdom: "Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you"
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12-23-2010 17:18
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I'm confused at why people need to be told how to lose weight. Is it really that confusing?? Quit shoving so much food down your throat....the end!!!
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12-23-2010 17:14
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Dear Santa, could you please tell me the meaning of "GOOD"? I'm a little confused of which list I'm on.......
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12-23-2010 16:49
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user-friendly.
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12-23-2010 15:58
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The squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease, sometimes it gets replaced.
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12-23-2010 15:57
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A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
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12-23-2010 15:54
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What are a man's three favorite games? Checker, Chess & Poker. (If you didn't get this say it quickly to yourself)
Every good friend once was a stranger.
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12-23-2010 15:48
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