Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5318 of 6447

Nothing makes people happier than when you are wrong and they are right.

wondering why villians just don't shoot Batman in the chin?
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01-22-2011 20:48
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putting up a new business in town; Zodiac Signs Tattoo Removal.
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01-22-2011 19:07
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Well I don't like you, and you don't like me. Oh you like me? Okay then I don't like you, and you like me.
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01-22-2011 18:13
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Some people struggle with their addictions. I embrace them.
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01-22-2011 17:55 by ~heZz~
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Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing. Then I can continue killing you with beer.
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01-22-2011 17:49 by Will
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You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
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01-22-2011 17:45 by Will
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Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
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01-22-2011 17:42 by Will
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girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
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01-22-2011 17:33 by Dopey420
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naked in the shower. (You're welcome ladies.)
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01-22-2011 16:08
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Anytime something goes wrong and everyone looks at you just jump out your seat and yell "Mortal Kombat!!" while beating on your chest! That should clear the room nicely.

Today, I'm hosting a jousting tournament for ALL kids in the neighborhood! All you need is: $10 (entry fee), a bike, and a broom OR mop!
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01-22-2011 13:49
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I was in a Spelling Bee onze. But I lost bekause the other students cheeted.

categorically denies all allegations......Next question
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01-22-2011 13:35 by scottyp
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throws his hand up and pretends he's on a roller-coaster whenever the plane takes off.
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01-22-2011 13:14 by Steve OH
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blocked you from reading this awesome Facebook status update. Please try back later.
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01-22-2011 12:55 by Steve OH
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The Best part of tonight is no alarm clock tomorrow
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01-22-2011 12:49 by Carolynn
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Somebody made alot of money selling their baby to Elton John! Hope he doesn't let the "SON go down on him."
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01-22-2011 12:31
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UPDATE: I'm still handsome.
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01-22-2011 11:53
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Those that say majority rules have obviously not watched the NBA.
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01-22-2011 11:50
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