Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Jim Morrison was right: People ARE strange.

   Because of cell phones, kids today will never know what it's like to choke their friends with a phone cord.

   I shot Big Foot and dumped him in the ocean before I could get any pictures.

   I'm thinking about becoming a psychic...But I don't know what people would think.

   cant believe the yanks but the bin out on a bank holiday

   Trump: OBL is still alive...he is in a cave in the Tora Bora Mountains with Obama's Kenyan birth certificate

   they should have captured bin laden, tied him to a tree filled with ants, then let all his victims stab him with a toothpick to death

   just like a good strom--slept right through the Royal Wedding.

   just returned from Pakistan--does anyone know how to clean the dirt out from under your nails? no specific reason as to why.

   sick of all this Osama Bin Laden news already - OK, he'd gone, great. What do I have to do to get a Charlie Sheen update?!!

   Take this Charlie Sheen: Ebay just told me I'm "winning!"

   hoorah to navy seal team 6 for taking out public enemy #1. any chance we can send these guys after whoever is setting the gas prices?

   Now that Bin Laden is dead, can I finally bring shampoo on a plane?

   It hasn't even been 36 hours and the "Bin Ladn set the world record for hide and seek" joke is already overused and stale. That in itself is a world record.

   may not be the best, but I'm the best I've ever seen

   Right now , Satan has Osama bent over and giving him his reward .

   ready for them to release the photo of Bin Laden. He wants to print T-shirts and mugs that say "This is the face of terrorism."

   offering his new drink. It's the Bin Laden. It's two shots and a splash of water.

   10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden - In his house.

   Osama 0 - Obama 1