Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   When a woman says, "Correct me if I'm wrong", do not under any, I mean any circumstances do it.

   Мило плюну в душу, нагло улыбнусь.

   I'm combining Easter and April Fools Day together this year. I'm sending kids out to search for eggs I haven't hidden.

   wow, TᕼE ᗩᖇT Oᖴ TᕼE ᗪEᗩᒪ

   Jeeziz. That fart was so rank, my nose disowned me.

   I’m always telling people I’m down for anything when in fact I mean, not after 8 PM, food should be involved, and it also depends on the weather, the parking situation and how tired I am

   Trump Soup: Start with lots of nuts, add some Tweeted mistruths, heat and spin until it is a laughing stock. Discard any creditability before servng.

   Not funny... We sprung forward so hard we are back in winter!

   I asked to 2024's manager today, it was 2021

   I think we should cancel April Fools this year. There is no prank topping reality.

   Remember when we used to do prank calls growing up? Now those spam calls are karma getting us back.

   Today is the first day of Spring. That means I can be over with my Seasonal Depression and go back to my Regular Depression.

   The Tick Tock clock is ticking.

   I worked out with a dumbell yesterday I FEEL VIGOROUS

   2nd birthday, fun, energetic

   If you take a social media sabbatical, don't announce it. Just make your last post something fun like "I wonder if there's a bear in this cave?"

   Just got home from Oklahoma. It was OK.

   Customer service in 2024: "I don't know the answer and neither does anybody else. I suggest that you call back another time. Now before I let you go, is there anything else I can help you with?"

   Marriage tip: If your wife says she's only getting two things at the store, don't believe her. She's lying!

   Good Day @everyone. our College Orientation & Research Symposium will be re schedule