Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 107 of 6390
I prefer 11,000 Keystone XL pipeline workers over 87,000 new IRS agents.
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08-15-2022 17:40
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If we have zero percent inflation, why do we need an Inflation Reduction Act?
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08-15-2022 17:39
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Well…. It’s “we finally got Donald Trump day” again.
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08-15-2022 17:39
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The 5 O'clock news. AKA let's see what the ηiqqers did now.
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08-15-2022 17:07
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My parents were very inspirational, they used to say: “You can do whatever you want in life, as long as you don’t do it here.”
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08-15-2022 16:58
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Hangovers only happen to people who stop drinking.
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08-15-2022 16:57
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Every time I open my mouth, some idiot starts talking.
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08-15-2022 16:55
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Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying “the economy” a lot.
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08-15-2022 16:55
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“I just called to say I love you.” -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work
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08-15-2022 16:54
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Life is a constant balancing act between wondering why you weren’t invited to something and wondering how to get out of it.
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08-15-2022 16:53
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There are a lot of unspoken rules about complimenting a baby. It is ok to say ‘I could just eat him up!’ but apparently you should not go into detail about which recipe you would follow.
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08-15-2022 16:52
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You could date someone willing to catch a grenade for you I guess that’s cool but how about someone who always carries a tennis racket, wouldn’t that be a bit smarter?
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08-15-2022 16:52
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Hate is a strong word. I need a stronger one.
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08-15-2022 16:51
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He died doing what he loved, sleeping with one leg outside of the sheets.
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08-15-2022 16:51
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Values of the woke: Victimizing yourself is powerful, bravery is dangerous, self-responsibility is someone else’s responsibility, reality isn’t real.
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08-15-2022 15:08
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Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.
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08-15-2022 15:08
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Dear, what-ever doesn’t kill me. I’m strong enough now, thanks.
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08-15-2022 15:07
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I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.
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08-15-2022 15:07
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A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
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08-15-2022 15:06
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Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
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08-15-2022 15:06
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