Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 107 of 6390

   messageicon I prefer 11,000 Keystone XL pipeline workers over 87,000 new IRS agents.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we have zero percent inflation, why do we need an Inflation Reduction Act?
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well…. It’s “we finally got Donald Trump day” again.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 5 O'clock news. AKA let's see what the ηiqqers did now.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents were very inspirational, they used to say: “You can do whatever you want in life, as long as you don’t do it here.”
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hangovers only happen to people who stop drinking.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I open my mouth, some idiot starts talking.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying “the economy” a lot.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I just called to say I love you.” -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is a constant balancing act between wondering why you weren’t invited to something and wondering how to get out of it.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are a lot of unspoken rules about complimenting a baby. It is ok to say ‘I could just eat him up!’ but apparently you should not go into detail about which recipe you would follow.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You could date someone willing to catch a grenade for you I guess that’s cool but how about someone who always carries a tennis racket, wouldn’t that be a bit smarter?
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hate is a strong word. I need a stronger one.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon He died doing what he loved, sleeping with one leg outside of the sheets.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Values of the woke: Victimizing yourself is powerful, bravery is dangerous, self-responsibility is someone else’s responsibility, reality isn’t real.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 15:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 15:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear, what-ever doesn’t kill me. I’m strong enough now, thanks.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 15:06 Comments (0)  




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