Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I miss the days before there was facebook when running into a friend you hadn't seen in while was like "Oh my God! what have you been up to?!" thats now like "Hey, I saw the casserole you posted last night, looked great"
←Rate | 07-20-2021 18:40 by XOXO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know there are idiot Savants, but are there Savant idiots ?.. Cause lately stupid people sure do think they are smart !
←Rate | 07-21-2021 15:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The Greek Freak forgot the recipe to success. You run team to team chasing championships." Lebron James
←Rate | 07-21-2021 16:41 by JaYTee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why a billionaire is asking for help to pay his legal expenses? you can't be that stupid right?
←Rate | 07-24-2021 13:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I gotta wait a half hour after eating before getting in the pool, let’s face it, I’m never getting in the pool.
←Rate | 07-24-2021 20:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if sunflower oil is made of sunflowers and vegetable oil is made of vegetables, whats baby oil made of?
←Rate | 07-25-2021 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it suspicious that the un-vaccinated are now getting the worst of the virus. Just joking, I'm not that stupid to think it's suspicious.
←Rate | 07-25-2021 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pfizer: raising the deads (viagra) and now saving the livings (vac)
←Rate | 07-26-2021 07:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may have a big ego, but at least it's not, "use a sharpie to alter a National Weather Service Map because I couldn't handle speaking in error" big.
←Rate | 07-26-2021 12:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mom took a picture of me in 1983 using a camera with a flashcube and the light in my eyes just stopped flashing.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 09:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get it cicadas, I too come once every seven years
←Rate | 07-27-2021 09:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *on hold for over an hour That guy playing the piano must be exhausted.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 09:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, maybe you’ll hit a billionaire’s rocket ship
←Rate | 07-27-2021 09:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home. I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening! She laughed. I laughed. Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 09:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just been to the gym and there’s a new machine. Only used it for an hour, as I started to feel sick. It’s good though. It does everything: Kit-Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, etc.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 10:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rompers are cute and all until you have to pee in a public bathroom. There’s no cute way to execute that. You’re now in an episode of naked and afraid.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 10:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got the results of my history exam. Past.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 10:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Affiliate belong to or Blog Website Just a FEW Clicks Away all for forgive start Today!
←Rate | 07-27-2021 14:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jury Duty is where the government calls you when they want and says, "Hey Bro, we need you to solve a murder, here's $15.00."
←Rate | 07-27-2021 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don't open it. It's spam.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 16:23 by Matt Comments (0)  




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