Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

   Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn't leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn't loan them out to strangers.

   Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

   I need a Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

   A thousand words are worth a picture, and they load a heck of a lot faster.

   How do I set a laser printer to stun?

   Hand over the calculator, friends don't let friends derive drunk.

   rejects your reality and substitute my own.

   Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes

   COME TO THE DORK SIDE...We Have Computers And High-Speed Internet With A Pentium 4 Processor ^_^

   Alert! User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue.

   "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

   Be rude to a bully and he'll beat you up, be rude to a geek and your computer will never forgive you.

   Ryan Seacrests comment after kissing Ellen on the lips: "Taste like fish"

   Why dont you slip into something more comfortable... Like a coma!

   The perfect work excuse: "Hello? Boss? Yes, I'm sorry, I will not be coming to work today. I'm having vision problems. I can't see myself coming to work today!"

   put a dyslexic joke on FB. Unfortunately, I have some dyslexic friends. I never heard the den of it from them!

   I asked my 7 year old daughter if you could be anyone out of a story book who would you be and she said snow white. when I asked her why she said mommy what girl wouldn't want to kiss 7 tiny lil men good night

   managed healthcare by an obsese surgeon general, passed by a Congress that has not read it, signed by a President that smokes, administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay taxes and financed by a country that is broke? What could go wrong?

   Doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs, never believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs.