Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Doesnt matter if you own a DSLR, that doesnt means you are a photographer.

   Enjoy life and don't think about it. There's nothing we can do but have fun with what time we have.

   pretty excited about coming on Facebook until he/she saw you were online.

   should have gotten some actual friends before making a Facebook account!

   Starting to think my Imaginary friend has serious issues....Hey!! You better get down from there, If you fall and break your legs don't come running back to me Pal.....What!!!! Don't look at me with that tone of voice...

   ended their relationship with TOYOTA.

   wants to join the "cereal box" dating service. I've dated enough flakes and nuts...all I want is the prize now ;)

   wondering why people with hundreds of friends on FB are spending their time on FB and not with one of them instead.

   Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to see Him soon.

   Working for God does not pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world

   Who was the best comedian/stage performer in the Bible? ANS: Samson. He brought the house down.

   Farmville......Fishville??? Are you serious??? Just wake me up when they launch "Margaritaville"......I'll be there:)

   Gene Police: You!! Out Of The Pool!

   I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

   Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

   The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

   There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

   What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

   Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

   The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.