Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Cooking pork chops in the toaster

   an undiscovered comedy genius

   Almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met :(

   cutting your brakes

   if she was a boy then he would be gay

   wishes the voices in his head would quit singing off-key

   Hello world

   bamboozled

   taking a walk outside her mind

   will gladly brighten your atmosphere.

   feeling strangely happy.

   got a little captain in him

   "by himself, but not alone. "

   "added new photos to the album ""Porn"" "

   not my name

   Throwing' Down Today

   back to the future

   bad news

   inspired by true events.

   in the moment...