Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Ran out of bubbles for her bath so she had to make her own.

   9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing, 100 are geting head and you are reading my status. Hang in there mate

   fell on the ice today. When I got up my keys, cell phone and wallet were gone. Must have been black ice...

   aim for the moon because even if you miss you will land in the stars

   why is it that in every song rihanna is in the same word is said atleast 400 times or 3/4 of the song consists of numerous repeated or held ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy's

   Goodbye, Rosalyn. You will not be missed. I hope you enjoyed yourself with the staffer! :)

   Prostate awareness day January 12, 2009---Show your color's guys

   Oops there goes my kids all over your face!

   thinks the only type of TV "analyst" position Sarah Palin is qualified for would be on Jerry Springer... or Hee Haw.

   i hate when horoscopes are right even more then when I hate when they are wrong

   it is so cold here,. that our snowman is begging for a coat.

   ̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿

   ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )

   If you are wearing shorts or sweatpants that spell out "Bootylicious" across the hind side. Just an FYI - it's not.

   Geez, 2010 already, Osama must be the world champion of Hide and Seek

   "May the LORD, the God of your fathers, increase you a thousand times and bless you as he has promised!" Deuteronomy 1:11

   wondering what ever happened to the hole in the ozone layer, did global warming heat it shut?

   will be Burger King and you'll be McDonald's . . . cause I'll have it my way and you'll be lovin' it!

   wondering how much of a carbon footprint Nancy Pelosi et al left in Copenhagen and how much we taxpayers will have to pay for it!

   loving how the voice in her head GETS LOUDER WHEN SHE USES CAPS LOCK!