snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Sorry if I end up in your dms this snow ❄🏂 got me sliding everywhere 🤭
←Rate | 11-13-2019 13:18 by Krystal Comments (0)  

   messageicon : Honk if you are flying south for the winter in a V formation.
←Rate | 11-12-2019 16:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fact: 98% of Jeep owners are guys named Jake, who wear shorts in the winter, and work at Starbucks.
←Rate | 11-05-2019 11:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon *buries Oreos throughout the house in preparation for the long, hard winter ahead.
←Rate | 10-31-2019 12:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.
←Rate | 09-25-2019 15:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years
←Rate | 09-04-2019 07:31 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon people talk about working on their "summer body" but I've been working on my winter body for years
←Rate | 08-27-2019 21:22 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls
←Rate | 04-17-2019 07:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just got done knockin boots! Alright fine, I just used a broom to brush the snow off of my sandals...
←Rate | 02-17-2019 17:22 by JohnY Comments (3)  

   messageicon it true atheist children lie down and make snow corpses
←Rate | 02-12-2019 13:32 by Zinc Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some of you ladies have more inches of snow outside than your man has in his pants.
←Rate | 02-11-2019 10:54 by RyanRyan Comments (0)  

   messageicon Coldest winter weather in recorded history. In two short years the President has fixed global warming.
←Rate | 02-01-2019 07:52 Comments (1)  

   messageicon am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming
←Rate | 01-28-2019 08:04 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh, the weather outside can bite me. My car won't start to spite me. I can't feel my freakin' toes. Winter blows, Winter blows, Winter blows.
←Rate | 12-15-2018 00:21 by JeffW Comments (0)  

   messageicon I know winter has started when my neighbor returns my rake, and borrows my snow shovel .
←Rate | 12-05-2018 14:50 by Joker Comments (0)  

   messageicon An apple a day is bull crap.... Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
←Rate | 07-21-2018 18:42 by BobbyT Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 19:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Plan to change the air in your tires soon. Replace that winter air in your tires for best inflation during summer months. Most mechanics will do this for you for free on April 1st.
←Rate | 03-17-2018 11:04 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Driving a gray car in the winter is putting a lot of faith in your fellow drivers on the road.
←Rate | 03-10-2018 09:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "We be bobsleddin'." The Winter Olympics Bobsled Team
←Rate | 02-13-2018 07:22 by PastaFazool Comments (0)  


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