Funny Fathers Day Status Messages

«Back

Posted by TJ on Thursday June 12, 2014 @ 01:53 AM
[Tags: toplist, status, humor]

Below are some funny status messages or tweets related to fathers day. You can browse more related funny status messages here: http://tjshome.com/statusmessages.php?f=&o=r&q=father+OR+dad.

24568 X A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." Submitted: 06-16-2010 22:28 by Danmanz
58359 X My new favorite thing to do is slip a kid $20 while his parents aren't looking and quietly whisper: "This is from your real father." Submitted: 05-26-2011 18:44 by Aaron
66423 X is Never date a girl whose father calls her "Princess." Chances are.. she believes it Submitted: 08-05-2011 20:54
39856 X Who among us has not proclaimed into the whir of a fan, "Luke. I am your father." Submitted: 12-14-2010 13:10 by Sara
53434 X says I met with my new girlfriends father for the first time yesterday. The first thing I said to him was, "Sir, you and me have something in common.." "What's that son?" I replied "Your daughter calls us both Daddy" Submitted: 04-14-2011 15:37 by Master Weeg
109273 X says When he was my age, my father had three kids, owned two businesses and a house. I can't even pull that off in 'The Sims'. Submitted: 08-17-2012 07:18 by flinnie
36610 X you're only real job as a father is to keep your daughter off the pole Submitted: 11-11-2010 10:15
122439 X My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, "How old are you?" I said, "I'm five." He said, "When I was your age I was six." Submitted: 01-24-2013 01:00 by @zubindalal1
72915 X The way I feel when a waiter finally brings my food is probably similar to the excitement of a dude on Maury who just got told he's not the father. Submitted: 09-28-2011 15:54 by Marshall the Great
149422 X says Chicken strips because Chicken never knew her father. Submitted: 05-22-2014 11:00
125999 X is I wonder during the election for Pope, did the other cardinals point to the losers and say excitedly "you are NOT the father" Submitted: 03-13-2013 14:50
69033 X If there's one thing I've learned since becoming a father it's just because the kids say they don't want any bacon, make 2 extra slices, because they are lying. Submitted: 08-28-2011 12:30 by eaglet1122
136285 X says Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you'll finally have 2 kids by the same father." Submitted: 08-30-2013 08:58 by Baddie
132122 X says father's day is a great time to stop into a strip club to remind yourself that you could have done worse as a father. Submitted: 06-16-2013 21:25 by Michael
23273 X A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. Submitted: 05-31-2010 20:11 by Tracy
25525 X When I was a kid, my father sat me down and told me he had some pictures to show me that would help me to remember to always wear a condom.... Funny thing is that all the pics were of me Submitted: 06-29-2010 23:08
23157 X says By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. Submitted: 05-29-2010 21:31