Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Florida has had 119 hurricanes since 1850, but this latest one was due to climate change.
←Rate | 09-11-2021 02:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have never met a baby named Gary. It’s like they just start life at 30 years old.
←Rate | 01-13-2019 12:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon SCIENCE FACT: All the lost hours from Daylight Savings get added to Betty White’s lifespan.
←Rate | 03-13-2018 02:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the fate of the world ever rests on knowing 80s music lyrics, call me.
←Rate | 02-20-2019 12:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After six months of listening to people talk with masks on, I finally understand what Charlie Brown’s teacher was saying
←Rate | 09-12-2020 20:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FDA approved does not mean scientifically proven. It means that a business deal has been made.
←Rate | 09-11-2021 02:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the good ol days… when everybody wasn’t such an overly sensitive twit.
←Rate | 07-28-2021 02:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
←Rate | 09-14-2021 02:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.
←Rate | 10-13-2019 17:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to put out an Amber alert for common sense...
←Rate | 03-12-2020 12:24 by MrSharp Comments (0)  


   messageicon For $5 you can either get your girl approximately 2 flowers from a florist OR you can get her an ENTIRE costco rotisserie chicken. that’s all I'm sayin. the choice is yours
←Rate | 10-21-2018 06:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.
←Rate | 06-08-2018 18:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drive more safely when there's food in the passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there...
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:17 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to your fifties. You have seven pairs of reading glasses throughout your house, but you can’t find any of them, including the ones on your head.
←Rate | 07-08-2020 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right, and evil doesn't become good, just because it's accepted by a majority.
←Rate | 07-23-2020 20:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re stranded in the middle of the ocean, don’t fart. Scramble the letters and make a raft.
←Rate | 05-28-2021 01:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s YOUR day, ruin it yourself.
←Rate | 04-22-2021 06:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
←Rate | 12-29-2017 07:57 by Funny Comments (1)  


   messageicon Whenever someone invites me to their home and I see more than 3 cars parked outside, I keep driving just in case it's an intervention.
←Rate | 05-25-2017 08:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro Tip: If you don’t have a mask, wearing a jock strap on your face tends to keep people at least 6 feet away from you.
←Rate | 04-27-2020 15:31 Comments (0)  



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