Will Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The new gas process. Step 1 enter credit card. Step 2 enter annual salary. Processing... Loan approved, you may now fill your gas tank. Have a nice day.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 04:55 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon n't it amazing how the sound of one persons voice can ruin your whole day at work.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 09:05 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks that Facebook should change the status question from "What's on your mind?" to "What's your problem today?"
←Rate | 01-23-2011 11:16 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've probably learned more from Google than I have from school.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 11:09 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent an idiot from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
←Rate | 01-31-2011 18:02 by Will Comments (1)  

   messageicon Girls are like police. They never believe things without evidence.
←Rate | 02-01-2011 09:57 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 09:54 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 10:36 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you see a fat man who's jolly and cute, wearing a beard and a red velvet suit, if he is chuckling and laughing away, while flying around in a miniature sleigh, with 9 tiny reindeer pulling him along, then you have to face it your eggnog's too strong
←Rate | 12-24-2010 07:45 by will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"
←Rate | 02-01-2011 09:52 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who designed the pants with the word pink on the back? It should be on the front, and the back should say brown.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 06:52 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guys socialize by making fun of each other, but they don't mean it. Girls socialize by giving compliments to each other but they don't meant it either.
←Rate | 02-08-2012 05:01 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I changed the name of my hard drive to 'that thang,' so once a month, my computer asks me if I wanna back that that thang up.
←Rate | 01-24-2011 08:07 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
←Rate | 01-22-2011 17:45 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon Omg there is high definition paint? People will believe anything. Well I just invented hd crayons, for the low price of 59.99 a box you can watch you drawings pop off the paper.. Idiots
←Rate | 06-23-2011 09:36 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon You are now aware that you can't say Irish wristwatch.
←Rate | 02-08-2011 07:19 by Will Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went to Lowe's with a bucket of Legos and asked the manager if we could build something together. She threw me out.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 03:32 by will Comments (0)  

   messageicon What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!
←Rate | 12-24-2010 07:09 by will Comments (2)  

   messageicon If you purchased $1000 worth of Delta airlines stock one year ago, you would have $49. If you invested it in aig you'd have $33. If you spent $1000 on beer and recycled the cans you would have $214.50. Therefor drinking heavily is your best investment.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 11:39 by Will Comments (1)  

   messageicon Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 06:33 by Will Comments (0)  

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