Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Didn't know Paul Walker starred in the new "Catching Fire" movie..

   Two men walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies

   FOX News, because conservative's balls can't lick themselves.

   Well The Good News Is, I Came Out Of The Closet, The Bad News...I'm Gay.

   half price concert tickets in july in London...anyone?

   Chris Brown must be making a new album, because he is going over his greatest hits with the judge tomorrow?

   "If the invisible man knocks on the door, tell him I can't see him at the moment."

   Attending my favorite kind of funeral.....Closed casket, Open bar

   Ok Who Else Hates How Celebs become More Famous After death Example Chris Kanyon Gurrreo Britney murphey And MJ

   Mary had a little lamb the doctor fainted

   Anti-gay breakfast sandwhich.. mmm always taste better when its full of hate!

   Wow took Rubio 13sec into his speech before he attacked Prez Obama and his failed

   Nice BBQ. The bulls got cooked by extreme heat. Anyone want steak?

   boycotting shampoo and demanding real poo!

   Haters gon' hate, potatoes gon' potate.

   I truly cannot visualize the rambling, incoherent creature I saw at the debates now addressing the nation from the Oval Office.

   Even Prime MInister Abe of Japan was surprised by how tiny Donald Trump's hands are, and he comes from a nation of tiny-handed people.

   We all have that one person we would take back in a second, no matter how much they hurt us in the past.

   I hate when fat women can't cook... Ummm okay, woman you just fat for no reason?

   Science puts men on the moon. GOVERNMENTS fly planes into buildings. Religion has nothing to do with it except tricking people into thinking it was religion.