Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   They began filming the new Batman movie here in Pittsburgh. This is going to be great!! In this one, he gets caught by the bad guys and the Gotham Police…Damn road construction!!

   no matter how odd the chances are for a villain in a fight, they always show up

   MLB looking into Illegal poker games at Oscar Madison's apartment. Felix Unger has no comment.

   March 14th the males alternative to Valentines Day... Look it up ladies Saltgrass is sounding good!!!!

   What's on my mind? *insert sarcastic third party rant here*

   it too late convert Charlie Sheen into a Redsox's fan so they can start winning?

   I keep hearing this week is the big 17th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death. I'm just wondering why we are suddenly celebrating 17th anniversary's like they are significant somehow. Otherwise, shouldn't he wait until 20th or 25th like other dead people?

   I think TN's temperature has finally reached Lava°F ...ugh! It's like breathing soup!

   I bought a latte yet me pushing 5 of these little round tables together to make a daybed seems to be a big fugging problem at this Starbucks.

   cont'd: I do not like your top news trends, instead of recent news from friends. It was just fine, but now it's pus, don't make us jump to Google Plus!

   dont laugh at ur friends if they start sounding like chicken little this next week..."the sky is falling"

   What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backward? He keeps coming and coming and coming.

   The NEW FACEBOOK is just like THE MATRIX MOVIE...luks amazn but no s**t I can understand!!!

   Sitting on the bus and some twat sitting next to me has decided to play vile raggarage on his loud speaker... I'm gonna either headbutt him or just return fire with some pavarotti

   I cut a chunk out of my thumb at work today.HALF-DAY, BOOYAH!

   Growing up, my mother always used to say in a angry voice : jorje finish up your coffee....there are people in Africa sleeping.... jj

   put her trousers on, is having a cup of tea, and should probably think about leaving the house at some point...

   R lass said she dint want much for valentines day, she just wanted some chocolates and a few little surprises. She wasnt that impressed when I turned up with 3 kinder eggs! :-/

   do you th ink its odd for a guy to send a girl digital flowers?

   Internet Beef: When You can sit in a bedroom in Mexico and talk about knockin out somebody in Finland and it will never come back to you.