Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 01:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It might be called social media, but all I do is share photos and ignore people.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor Doggo: “Hmmm…. I see. Have you tried barking at nothing? That might help.”
←Rate | 01-08-2023 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s called a joke, we used to tell them before people got drunk on soymilk.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rachel has 16 chocolate bars. Tracy takes 4 from her and asks for the remaining quarter. What would she end up with? Me: A sucker-punch in the breadbox.
←Rate | 01-10-2023 01:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m going to need some of you guys to start getting weirder, I cannot keep pulling all the weight like this. 😏
←Rate | 01-23-2023 02:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 19:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Counting to ten only makes it premeditated.
←Rate | 01-10-2023 01:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teacher: “Today we will be talking about depressed people who share jokes all day as a coping mechanism.”
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two kinds of people: Those who do whatever they’re told, no matter what. And, people who will do what is right, no matter what they are told. 😉
←Rate | 01-23-2023 03:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m all out of snacks. What else do people do for fun? 🤔
←Rate | 01-23-2023 02:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you are going to keep trusting the system until your pronouns are was/were. 🙁
←Rate | 01-23-2023 02:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you’re in psychology class and you learn about the disorder you have.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you’re tired of your cat showing you it’s butthole so you show it yours.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 02:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone I know is a “snack getting stuck in a vending machine” away from total collapse.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: My dog is probably thinking about other dogs. My dog: “What was Scar’s name before he got that scar?”
←Rate | 01-10-2023 02:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
←Rate | 01-19-2023 04:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friendly reminder to put all current boyfriends and girlfriends at the edge of family photos so that they and easily be cropped out later.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 02:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When they can’t control or manipulate you, they smear you. 😔
←Rate | 01-23-2023 03:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Therapist: “What brings you in today?” Me: Every time my husband puts the dishes away, he puts them in a different location. Therapist: “I’ll cancel all my appointments.”
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:22 Comments (0)  




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