Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I used to be a people person......but people fckued that all up...

   I hate people that say, "He's a nice person once you get to know him." They might as well just say, "He's a d!ckhead, but you'll get used to it"

   People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.

   Just drove by an Asian restaurant - Wok n' Roll - well played Chinese people. So crever

   People, put a dollar in the jar every time you masturbate. Trust me on this. {Sent from my yacht}

   A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him, ‘You� �have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you.'   The drunk replies,  ‘Boobs.' 

   People who are offended when I breastfeed in public need to STFU. What I'm doing is natural and strengthens the bond between me and my dog.

   people ask me why I don't have any tattoos I tell em " would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?

   ATTENTION, Good people of the State Mississippi .... Ancestry.com is NOT an online dating service! ... That is all ...

   because of tanning beds 1000 years from now archeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment

   People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs.

   It's so rude when people talk at the movies while you're on the phone!

   People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with “lol” should be damn shot.

   All the people with barbwire tattoos should join together and form a border wall between US and Mexico

   I hate arrogant people....It's like they think they're better than me...No one is better than me!

   I came across a show called "It's Me or the Dog"......I gotta say that I was immensely disappointed when I found that it wasn't a game show where people had to guess who farted...

   Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don't want to see naked. . .

   the best way to understand paranoid people is to follow them around.

   My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .

   Even though Halloween is meant to be about dressing up as scary evil monsters, people still complain if you go as Hitler