Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Facebook needs to add a maybe button for friend requests, some people deserve to wait for a decision to be made.

   Labor Day was canceled because too many people couldn't remember what it was like to have a job :)

   Got my Halloween costume- Snookie! I will wear clothes 5 sizes too small, paint my body umpa loompa orange, walk around half naked, drunk and obnoxious.

   I found out today that you could group your friends on Facebook and name the group whatever you want, however I didn't know it would send the people notificati​ons saying that I added them to the, "People I've f*****.." group, sorry..

   I'm glad people don't talk the way they spell, text, or type.

   If Facebook shutdown people would be in tears, shoving pictures of themselves in other people's faces yelling "DO YOU LIKE THIS?! DO YOU?!"

   Some people repeat themselves when they're drunk & some people repeat themselves when they're drunk.

   This is gonna date me, but I remember when people used turn signals to notify other drivers of their intentions.

   You know you're awesome when Facebook suggests people you have already had sex with.

   I've counted 8 people so far whose New Year's resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?

   People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion of this world is that people are used and things are loved.

   I usually don't care what people are saying until they start whispering.

   One of the best parts about Saturday and Sunday mornings is reading the Status Updates people post after a night of drinking.

   Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

   : Am I the only one who sat in class during high school and imagined what I would do to people if I could stop time?

   I wish people on FB would just write, "I'm dying for attention! Please comment on this!". Instead of all the dramatic posts with only half the situation given.

   FACT: Some people will steal your stuff and then help you look for it.

   You know you're drunk when you can speak fluent Ozzy Osbourne.

   US Marine SGT Michael Cable died in Afganistan today, but yet all I see on the TV is people mourning a drunk hillbilly....

   I hate it when the people who owe me money post about how much they bought on Black Friday