Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I think it's hilarious people have profile pics up of them from 2 yrs ago. You do not look like that anymore, hunny. lol

   Religions frequently promote inbred social networks. You're encouraged to spend more time with people who share the same belief system while disengaging from those with incompatible beliefs.

   Hello dangerous young man! Come and look at our extensive range of military grade, rapid - fire weapons, that can easily eliminate any normal people that question your anti - social and sadistic tendencies!

   America is only the land of the free for people who have lots of money.

   You want to force people to stand for the flag? Please tell me more about this FREE country of yours?

   A guy that's inbred and makes a living helping people trick ducks into landing for sex, is going to tell his opinion about wrong sex... Shove that down your throats!

   Casey Anthony must be a slut, it took 12 people to get her off..

   Iphones, so people know you're a douche bag with out having to say it

   still embarrased about what I did for a klondike bar....that was 2 years ago leave it alone people..........

   I like hearing how actors shouldn't have political opinions from people who worship Ronald Reagan.

   What do Amish people and homeless people have in common? They can't read this.

   Bristol is following in her mother's footsteps, having no talent and people still root for her!

   Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

   "I'm going to open a restaurant called" "Peace and Quiet" where" noisy people "meals cost $150."

   People hate Trump but they secretly cry and wish they were a Billionaire too

   People say weed smokers are lazy. Well guess what as*holes, the blunt doesn't pass it self. And it sure isn't rolling it self.

   apparently people dont like it when I tell the truth.... well honestly IDGAF!! :)

   Just because I'm drive, doesn't mean I can't drunk!!!

   if you want to feel skinny....hang out with a group of fat people!

   I get grossed out whenever I see people who have not cleaned their ears since the Truman administration UGH!