Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Some people tell me they think I may have Tourettes. I've got know idea BALLSACK what they're talking about.

   copying status's from many pages ago and re posting them in the hope people aint seen them before, in attempt to make myself look funny.

   In what world does a box of macaroni and cheese serve 4 people?

   some people are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk!!!!!

   Being a politician is a lot like being a hooker. You can't be one unless you can pretend to like people while you're screwing them....

   wants to be one of those people who, when he reaches the end of his life, gets their head cryogenically frozen, wakes up in a new, strong, young body 10,000 years in the future and proceeds to lead the human race to victory over the alien insect overlords

   all those people watching the "Royal Wedding" and not one dentist passing out business cards... wtf?

   I'm watching one of those shows where an ugly dude preaches and pretends to heal people. It's called "Oprah"

   When people go camping. are they practicing being homeless,lol?

   Some people don't need an "Easy" button, they need a "STFU" button.

   Don't you think it's time we stopped blaming our problems on people in our past and started blaming them on people in the future?

   Don't you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?

   Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me a damn secrets???

   With a name like "Earl," I'm more afraid this hurricane will get drunk and beat a pregnant woman, than I am that it will cause flooding.

   It is beyond me why people would be camping outside in the cold weather waiting 7, 8 hours to go spend them money...SMH

   Hey negative people; The only thing I want negative in my life are pregnancy tests.

   Checklist: Poke People ✔ Delete People ✔ Block People ✔ Send Friend Requests ✔ Accept Friend Requests ✔ Ignore Chats ✔ Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ✔....Morning chores all done.

   2014. Yep, nothing's changed. The good people are still good. The bad people are still bad. The smart people are still smart. The slow people are still slow...and the assh0les are still assh0les.

   I remember my first beer.....Ah, who I am kidding....I was too drunk to remember. Plus I was like 12 so...

   So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?