Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Too many people confuse "justice" with "revenge."

   I hate texting people first. I feel awkward, annoying and unwanted

   How many BBQ's do I have to get drunk at to prove I love America????

   Raid should make suppositories for all the people with bugs up their asses.

   Some people say I'm too random for their liking. But who cares, bacon is amazing.

   People ask me if I live my life on the edge. Well, let's just say I'm the kind of guy who eats apples without washing them first.

   When people with lisps say "Bithneth", you know they mean business.

   It's hard to be optimistic about the future when you go to YouTube and see how many people videotape their TV.

   Dear karma, I have a list of people you missed....

   People that have 7 kids, let's be honest.....do you actually LOVE all those kids?

   All I want for Cristmas is to go to Walmart and there be no people

   80% of people have a brain, the other 20% are in my friend list clicking on spam as we speak

   People say hard work never killed anybody, but did you ever know anyone who "rested to death?"

   The good thing about Alzheimer is that you meet new people every day.

   Yesterday was Mozart's birthday. The Austrian people are always trumpeting the fact that Mozart is from there. I think it's meant to take your mind off any other very famous Austrians.

   Know your limitations people! Just because the item says "one size fits all" doesn't mean you should try to fit your big a$$ in to it....just sayin'

   I would "like" many interests, tv shows, people, etc on facebook except I don't want to see the stupid wall posts I get as a result of it.

   I wonder if people with eye patches thought it was all fun and games.

   You cannot be ugly and be rude and antisocial and mysterious and get away with it. That type of behavior is for hot people.

   Irish I was drunk already ツ