Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   at Camp Crystal Lake, getting drunk with her best friends and running around in her underwear, and holy crap did anyone else hear that noise?

   Do I look like a freakin' people person?

   convinced they gave a day pass to the people in the old folks home so they could work the polls today.

   Don't you hate it when people start a whole conversation off you're status? C'mon guys, get a WALL!"

   I absolutely hate when people pull onto a highway goin 5mph! Don't be surprised when you have a Ford symbol embedded in the back of your trunk a$$hole!

   The only people who still leave voicemail messages are bill collectors and moms.

   100% of the people that talk sh!t about your life, have sh!ttier lives than you.

   I used to wonder what it was like to read people's minds But now that I have a Facebook account I'm over it

   It'd be interesting to see statistics of your life after you die. Like, what joke you found the funniest, how many times you smiled, how many times you laughed, how many times you lied, or how many people you loved.

   Why is YOLO popular all of a sudden? Was there seriously a problem of people thinking we lived twice?

   In 1969, nearly 600 million people tuned in to watch Neil Armstrong walk on the moon. Now we have 'The Bachelorette'.

   I hate when people come over and they're like "Do you have a bathroom?" No...we sh1t in the yard!

   Happy people don't take long showers.

   Hearing an adult say they “don’t understand why the government doesn’t just print more money so people have more” is why we can’t have nice things.

   I learned to play guitar so people would stop asking me to go camping.

   Attention people that only post inspirational quotes: we know you're nuts.

   I can't wait until all these 100 days of happiness people get to day 69. Maybe then my news feed will finally be interesting

   There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.

   ■Twitter makes me like strangers I've never met and Facebook makes me dislike people I know in real life.

   Forget personalized ringtones. I need something done to my doorbell so I can tell if it's family, friends, UPS, Jehovah's Witnesses, or people trying to sell me sh!t.