Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   All I am saying is if Donald Trump was really a friend of the Gay people, one of them would have fixed his wig and makeup by now.

   They say alcohol kills people. Lets not forget how many people were born because of it.

   At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

   I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it's two boobs.

   Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke

   I hate it when I have to smile at all the old people I come across just to reassure them that I am not a teenage thug up to no good.

   This Fathers Day I would like to thank Maury Povich for his relentless efforts helping many people in the ghetto enjoy a normally very confusing day.....

   Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.

   Why America is screwed... People like Chumlee on Pawn Stars is making money on TV instead of manning a fry station.

   I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, interrupt MY day and then give me the "why aren't you wearing pants" look.

   People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.

   People who drive under the speed limit are probably the same people who drink decaf.

   Loves the smell of gun powder, thank you Chinese people..

   There are 3 kinds of people in the world. One is the solution to the problem, one is the problem, while the other is wondering what was the problem???

   If I ever wake up in a room with a bunch of people and a tape recorder that says, "Hello, I want to play a game", I'm gonna be pissed!!!

   People nowadays take pictures, not for memories, but to post them on facebook and get comments.

   I swear people who like temperatures in the 90s don't actually work for a living.

   Goal weight: when I wear a speedo, people can actually see the speedo.

   I hate people who speak for other people, and so do you.

   Some people just need a sympathetic pat... on the head... with a hammer.