hovo Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Copy and paste this as ur status, send it to 3 people in 10 minutes, absolutely nothing will happen! It works! Ive done it twice and both times nothing happened!
←Rate | 03-22-2011 20:15 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sorry hun, but unlike you, I'm not a doorknob where everyone gets a turn. I'm more of a casino where only the lucky ones hit the jackpot.
←Rate | 04-09-2011 15:40 by Hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon The iPhone- checks my facebook, checks my email, organizes my music, calls my Mom, and now it tracks my whereabouts? It's like having a jealous psycho girlfriend in your pocket.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 19:26 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Google has gotten so used to my search habits, all I have to do is type a celebrity's name and it automatically adds "nude".
←Rate | 04-28-2011 22:47 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Once you lick frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:03 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon At what age is it approiate to tell my dog he's addopted?
←Rate | 04-10-2011 15:20 by Hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's Been A Tough Few Years For The Ocean, we've had the oil spill, the Japan radiation, and now "Hey! Mind if we put Bin Laden there too?!"
←Rate | 05-20-2011 00:54 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've got 99 problems and I'm not dealing with any of them (Lay-Z)
←Rate | 05-20-2011 00:49 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dude!!! That cross-eyed girl at the bar is looking at you.... And me
←Rate | 04-14-2011 02:49 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook needs to add a maybe button for friend requests, some people deserve to wait for a decision to be made.
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:00 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Men are a lot like shopping carts, when you finally find one without a screwed up wheel, it already has a wife pushing it around.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 16:30 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really want to punch "The Situation" in his vagina
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:00 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just once somebody needs to roundhouse kick the person who does the 1$ bigger bid on The Price Is Right!
←Rate | 06-10-2011 14:59 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Drunk sayings = Sober thoughts
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:21 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I ever wake up in a room with a bunch of people and a tape recorder that says, "Hello, I want to play a game", I'm gonna be pissed!!!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 14:49 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon I installed a stripper pole outside my house. Haven't caught one yet.
←Rate | 04-28-2011 22:48 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Instead of cashiers saying "here's your receipt" they should say "will you throw this away for me?"
←Rate | 06-03-2011 00:41 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was just thinking, what if car bumpers were filled with candy so if you got in a car crash, it would explode like a piñata. " Sorry 'bout the crash, but look free candy!!!"
←Rate | 04-21-2011 19:25 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon life is all bout ass... you're either kissing it, behaving like it, covering it, working it off, or trying to get a piece of it.
←Rate | 04-11-2011 15:23 by hovo Comments (0)  

   messageicon Daylight savings is the lamest form of time travel.
←Rate | 03-14-2011 18:44 by hovo Comments (0)  

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